It amuses me to no end when people come to me to ask if 'we' are together. I am referring to the past love I have recently ended. Yes, ended; but apparently, there are still some who refuse to believe it.
Funny how they still insist that we'll be together someday, that this one-way relationship will actually push through again. I even know one who gave the idea two years to materialize. And just yesterday, I was taken aback because an aunt of his seemed to be really convinced that we are a thing. When her daughter (my friend) discarded the thought, the older one stated that there is a possibility that he'll come to me and ask my hand for marriage... soon.
Tempting idea. I used to think of that too. I once imagined that we'll go past that stage of courtship and head to that directly.
But that was a downright mistake.
What people should understand is that I'v gone beyond that phase where I'm just accepting everything. For five years, love blinded me from the fact that I refuse to pay attention to his mistakes and undesirable attitudes. I was too concentrated on the idea that I love him therefore I should accept his whole being.
Now that I have moved on, I am beginning to notice what I didn't before.
Truth is: our characters contrast more than how we're alike. While he's quiet and reserved, I am loud and boisterous. While he's impressively calm, I am always agitated. He's a genius, I'm not. He has his whole life planned ahead of him, I roll by instinct. He's liked while I'm hated. He's unique and different, I'm just painfully normal.
I know opposite attracts, but God knows that never applied to us. And though I have to take credit of that one essential fact that I have gone beyond what others couldn't come close to in terms of being a friend to him, that's all I could ever be. A few months ago, the thought hurt. But now, I'm thankful even. During those five long years of unrequited love, I have discovered a lot about myself. I have realized how deep my threshold for emotional pain is; how selfless I can be; and how dedicated I can be towards one person.
Seriously, I have understood my whole being.
So no regrets.
I have learned not to speak about the future with finality so I don't want to close my doors. But then I hope people will understand that if we're meant to be, we will happen.
But if you seriously ask me, I hope it never does.
Funny how they still insist that we'll be together someday, that this one-way relationship will actually push through again. I even know one who gave the idea two years to materialize. And just yesterday, I was taken aback because an aunt of his seemed to be really convinced that we are a thing. When her daughter (my friend) discarded the thought, the older one stated that there is a possibility that he'll come to me and ask my hand for marriage... soon.
Tempting idea. I used to think of that too. I once imagined that we'll go past that stage of courtship and head to that directly.
But that was a downright mistake.
What people should understand is that I'v gone beyond that phase where I'm just accepting everything. For five years, love blinded me from the fact that I refuse to pay attention to his mistakes and undesirable attitudes. I was too concentrated on the idea that I love him therefore I should accept his whole being.
Now that I have moved on, I am beginning to notice what I didn't before.
Truth is: our characters contrast more than how we're alike. While he's quiet and reserved, I am loud and boisterous. While he's impressively calm, I am always agitated. He's a genius, I'm not. He has his whole life planned ahead of him, I roll by instinct. He's liked while I'm hated. He's unique and different, I'm just painfully normal.
I know opposite attracts, but God knows that never applied to us. And though I have to take credit of that one essential fact that I have gone beyond what others couldn't come close to in terms of being a friend to him, that's all I could ever be. A few months ago, the thought hurt. But now, I'm thankful even. During those five long years of unrequited love, I have discovered a lot about myself. I have realized how deep my threshold for emotional pain is; how selfless I can be; and how dedicated I can be towards one person.
Seriously, I have understood my whole being.
So no regrets.
I have learned not to speak about the future with finality so I don't want to close my doors. But then I hope people will understand that if we're meant to be, we will happen.
But if you seriously ask me, I hope it never does.
