Monday, June 15, 2015

It's still the same. Our lives are still intertwined and fate still dictates that we get back together, in any manner possible, during the most trying times in my life - or at least that's what I believe. Somehow, it's that kind of set-up that sparks the idea that maybe, I'm still not over anything; or maybe everything's just coming back.

But as I ponder on it more, as I reminisce the way I felt protected and cared for, the way his hand held mine... I realized that it's no longer about love. It's that longing feeling, that intense desire, to feel something that strong again.

I just want to love again. 

However, it's not in the choices of people like I am. What do I have against the reality that in this world, it's the physical looks that matter? As one Facebook post pointed out, no one falls for the personality at first sight. It's just either you're beautiful or you're not. There's nothing in between.

The more I think about what happened that night, the angrier I become at myself. Because at the end of each day, as I have no one else to blame, I get mad at myself for being like this: for being so incapable of making someone fall in love with me.

I guess there really are two types of people: attractive and repulsive. Judging from how I'm looked down on by others just because I'm overweight, do we even need to point out which category I am in?



또 사랑하고 싶어...

When the day has ended,
                   what happens at night?

When the laughter had died down,
when the world turns into quiet,
                   what happens at night?

When absence began to dominate,
and there was nothing else but your thoughts,
                    what happens at night?

When you had your back against comfort,
as you finally try to close your eyes
                                                     and your heart -
                     what happens at night?

After even just a moment
of my presence in your life, tell me -
                 

                     what happens at night?





* I got the phrase "What happens at night" from Mr. Byun Baekhyun: Untamed,
one of my most favorite Baekhyun-centered fanfictions in Asianfanfics.com

What Happens At Night?

Sunday, June 14, 2015

There are words I couldn't say, things I cannot admit. It's not like I can't at all. It's just that I've chosen not to express it even in the slightest manner. I am not in the position to tell you these things, nor has the right to feel this way, so why bother? Why complicate things?

Saying the words I couldn't say is as good as admitting that these thoughts are true - that I am, once and for all, in love with you. It won't be fair to myself to be this honest because I'm still in the phase of battling with my own emotions. Love is a great feeling but whenever it comes to me, it never is.

These words I couldn't say will perhaps be kept in my mind forever.
There's no point telling these words when I know for sure that it will not be appreciated, nor even just replied to.
Because these words I couldn't say are nothing, particularly because it'll come from me.


The Words I Couldn't Say

Monday, June 1, 2015

Meycauayan has a rich religious culture. As it basically gives home to one of the oldest churches in the country founded by the Franciscans, the town's reputation as a core of Catholicism in Bulacan cannot be set aside. The moment the Franciscans landed in Bahay Pari on the late 16th century and planted the seed of faith among the people, this place had indeed marked its name on the history of Bulacan.

Having given this kind of introduction, I have presented a concrete justification as to why I am so proud that I am a parishioner and a server in the Parish of St. Francis of Assisi. As one of the oldest churches in Bulacan, it then follows that the parish boasts of incredible traditions which had been in practice for so long - until modernization of society took over and cultures were either forgotten or lost.

I've always believed that history is an essential formula to a successful community, and this applies to our religious beliefs as well. In order to bring in more people to the church, it is important to instill that sense of pride among them. And how do we do that? By making them see what had been in practice through actually reliving the past.

That is exactly why the Committee on Church Cultural Heritage of the parish is tirelessly working to bring back the glory that was once ours. We continuously spearhead projects that would enlighten people today of the incredible truth that Meycauayan still has something beautiful in it. We make sure that all our projects would lead to the achievement of one ultimate goal: to convince everyone that Meycauayan - amidst all the political issues and controversies - is still worth it.

The recently concluded Flores de Mayo had probably been one of the most eye-opening events we've ever handled. There were challenges, conflicts, problems, but all of those are nothing compared to the kind of appreciation we receive from the people. Hearing compliments of how smooth the flow was (albeit the annoying problems in the beginning) and how organized it had been, I couldn't help but feel so flattered.

No, it's not because I'm one of the head organizers of the month-long event. The pride honestly comes from the fact that all the stress, heartaches, disappointments, and all else had actually paved way to the possibility of making a difference. Witnessing people appreciating what everyone did was an enough indication that religious traditions can be relived, and the community can once again participate.

I know it's not going to be easy continuing what we have started, but we at CCCH will take it step by step. Judging from the plans laid out on me last night, we're going to be aggressive in pushing our cause. 

Because we all know that it's about time we bring back what's rightfully Meycauayan's.





Bringing Back the Glory of Meycauayan

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