또 사랑하고 싶어...

It's still the same. Our lives are still intertwined and fate still dictates that we get back together, in any manner possible, during the most trying times in my life - or at least that's what I believe. Somehow, it's that kind of set-up that sparks the idea that maybe, I'm still not over anything; or maybe everything's just coming back.

But as I ponder on it more, as I reminisce the way I felt protected and cared for, the way his hand held mine... I realized that it's no longer about love. It's that longing feeling, that intense desire, to feel something that strong again.

I just want to love again. 

However, it's not in the choices of people like I am. What do I have against the reality that in this world, it's the physical looks that matter? As one Facebook post pointed out, no one falls for the personality at first sight. It's just either you're beautiful or you're not. There's nothing in between.

The more I think about what happened that night, the angrier I become at myself. Because at the end of each day, as I have no one else to blame, I get mad at myself for being like this: for being so incapable of making someone fall in love with me.

I guess there really are two types of people: attractive and repulsive. Judging from how I'm looked down on by others just because I'm overweight, do we even need to point out which category I am in?