It was totally tiring though because only a few cooperates. It didn't help that I was constantly irked by people who didn't even know what they were supposed to do yet won't listen to my directions because I'm younger than they are. But I guess, there's not a single event where people like those do not exist. There will always be one of their kind.
Due to pressure and stress, I have even come close to giving up. I even told my mom that I don't want to do it anymore. I even fought with my dad because of my mood swing. But I knew I couldn't, I shouldn't... and I wouldn't.
Because I have taken the first step and so there's no turning back.
To be honest, I don't want to go back to the rants and complaints which came out of my mouth during the whole preparation period. The more important thing is screaming at my face, telling me that in spite of all the hardships and trials, everything turned out successful.
Before the event, I made a simple wish. It's for me to feel the excitement and intense gratefulness I felt during the parish blessing again. I failed to achieve that during Fiesta and I really did rely on this celebration to find what I've been looking for.
And you know what? It was that feeling again.
I went back to being the plain photographer that I am - running on the streets, chasing moments - and as I stared at how smooth and organized the whole procession was, I felt something tug the strings of my heart. My eyes turned watery. I felt that immense joy once more; and after a long time, I felt contented - because that very moment, I knew instantly that my wish was granted.
After the procession and the rites, I attended the 5PM mass; and as exaggerated as it may sound, I felt so overwhelmed as if everything that's happening in that particular liturgical celebration was new to me. I got amazed at how the pontifical servers were so in sync, how there were so many people, how beautiful the whole religious ordeal is; and I just felt so grateful.
Because there were so many people, I went to the sacristy and that's where I heard mass from. As I stared at the altar and the tabernacle, it occurred to me how lost I've been and the fact that I am now found. Hopefully, no one noticed that I was actually tearing up the whole time.
But what actually touched me the most was when the chairman of Banga SPPC called me and held my hand to say 'Maraming salamat, ha?' His voice was obviously shaky, as if he's being moved to tears; and that was what majorly reminded what I'm here for.
As I look back to the whole three weeks of preparation during which we've all gone through so much, there is still this lingering feeling of bitterness towards people who acted more like burdens than support. It was tiring. It was stressful. But when I heard those words of gratitude which I consider the most sincere of all, all woes were erased and understanding prevailed. Rather than fussing over what could have been done, it's better to focus on what happened because in the end, it will always be the greater thing.
I need not to be recognized. I need not to be acknowledged. What is important is that 'thank you' was said, and that was enough.
Christ the King is the last Sunday of the church calendar. Meaning, we're starting a new year come the first week of Advent. Having this thought in mind intensified the joy I'm feeling inside. Because I knew the year ended right for us, and it's gonna start in a better way.
As we start the new year for the Catholic Church, I hope that the changes I instigated during the whole time I was working with the people in Banga will remain and be retained. I hope that I managed to pave the way for what is right and good. I hope I managed to correct the flaws that had been in practice for years. I hope I have successfully uplifted the worth of worthy people in the judging eyes of others.
And I fervently pray... that whatever I've started will continue forth for the glory of His name.
All hail, Christ the King!
Milton, I have kept my promise. I hope you're happy for us all. :)
