I was tired. I was exhausted. And during those rare moments that I actually admit that, there's only one thing I ask God for. It's to see you. It's to be able to talk to you even for a minute, hear from you about what you've been doing and what you've been planning to do. After all, you've always been my refuge. You've always been a sanctuary. My stress reliever, my favorite escape.
I could always ask for you. You've always been very generous of your time when it comes to me anyway. One text, one call, and I know you'll come to my side. You value me. I am important to you. I know that and I'm beyond grateful.
But due to the circumstances we've been through, a lot of things had changed. You're no longer available all the time. I'm no longer that keen to keeping you close to me. We've grown out of what we used to be and considering our situation, I know that's the better thing.
However, there is one thing that's left unchanged: the fact that you are my refuge and even God believes in that.
For the past few days, I've been thinking of you. I couldn't admit I'm tired because it might turn into a habit but I know I just wanted to see you. A little chat was all I asked for. I didn't even send you a message or anything. But like the usual, He had rewarded me with something better.
It is always a coincidence. When I need you, you always appear. Even without me asking, you always come and take all my worries and fears away. It's a consistent thing. It seems more like fate each time.
Fate. Big word.
Anybody who would know what we've been through would really think we're fated to each other. I think this is the main reason why people just can't seem to move on from the idea of us. Everytime we're seen together, everyone just seems to feel elated. They've always been rooting for what we could be. They've always been waiting for that time when we're going to admit that we're a couple.
But I don't think that time would come now, or anytime soon.
I don't know where this came from but last night, only one thing dominated my thoughts: maybe next life, there's gonna be a chance for us. Quite a dreamy idea, this is. I even think it's something stupid. But it's a consolation on my part. I've loved you so much and even if I've moved on, the feelings just won't fade away that fast. You're still a huge part of me and I won't ever relinquish our connection just because of what happened.
Because even God knows that I need you to fix my life.
I'm not closing doors, but I don't think there's a chance for us today. Taking a lot of things into consideration, we're not possible. But maybe in the next life, when there's no more barriers and when feelings are different, we can be together. And maybe, we'll have our chance on our next lives.
