Monday, September 29, 2014

So two of my closest friends came up with something ridiculous. They think that I'm badly smitten, whipped, and totally on my knees. They think that I have already found a new person to dedicate my attention to. Yeah, they think that - as repulsive as it does sound - I AM IN LOVE.

But there is no way I am. Honestly.

I know myself and I'm not in love. I might be attracted, a little flushed that after a long time, someone has finally caught my attention; but that doesn't mean I'm actually thinking about being actually in love. With what I have gone through, it'll take a whole lot of deal for Cupid to trick me again. I've learned how to be elusive. And I've learned how to feel.

And right now, there's nothing more than just plain attraction.

These friends accuse me that I don't usually smile like how I do whenever they tease me; and okay, to that I'll concede. But the thing is: maybe I just missed the feeling of being teased to someone entirely new rather than getting stuck with the old story.

Sigh.

For the last time, I AM NOT IN LOVE.

Me? In Love?

Friday, September 26, 2014



OKAY! So this isn't really the final since there's gonna be a lot more to add like captions and other photos that aren't given to me yet, but as I've said in my Instagram account, it feels so surreal to hold an actual manuscript of a book I have designed, and taken pictures for. Knowing that it's going to be published sooner or later, it ignites anticipation because as soon as this gets done, I can proudly say that a dream came true.

Yes, it has always been my dream to see my name on a book. I have always wanted to put a book in my shelf and then show it to people, telling them that I took part in its creation. Ever since grade school, I've always hoped to publish something I did.

I used to think that this dream will happen with me as the writer. But the first step is not always what you expect. Sometimes, it's far better than what you wanted.

We're still halfway through finishing the book despite the deadline being just a week from now; but I already claim the pride. I have my shots here. I'm doing 90% of the book's layout. And most importantly, I have my name on the credits. That's saying something for someone who doesn't have much to offer, to be honest.

I know it's too early but I just can't help myself. I have created a manuscript, an actual manuscript, which is set for publishing. People are gonna buy the book we're creating. They're going to see what we've worked so hard for. And hopefully, they're gonna appreciate. I hope they do appreciate.



But let me tell you one thing: more than the pride of being 'published', the more important thing to me is that this book had provided me a bigger chance to do something I've always wanted to do, and that is to promote my province. Now, my objective has gone beyond La Bulaqueña.

Bulacan had always been a beautiful place but too underrated, especially for tourists. We have no beach to attract foreigners during summer, or extensive natural wonders to boast. But we have impressive churches and a real deal of historic and cultural importance; and I believe that's enough to take pride on.

This book is a simple one, but I hope it does strike readers where it should. I hope that through the simple write-ups and photos which we painstakingly put together, we get to nudge everyone's sleeping interest on our province awake. I pray that through the pieces of information we have decided to include in this soon-to-be publication, we can inspire and motivate many to visit a place that is actually more than what it's given credit for.

After all, Bulacan isn't just about crime incidents, smuggled rice warehouses, and natural calamities. It's more than all of that.


Dreams Coming True

Thursday, September 25, 2014


If I were to put into words whatever I feel, which term should I use? Elated? Fulfilled? Contented? Or perhaps... Sad? Disappointed? Craving for more?

I have just watched Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends with my brother. It has just been released yesterday and I just couldn't let a week pass before I watch it for myself. No, this movie and One Ok Rock's new song 'Heartache' are just too good to fall into the pits of my mañana habit.

The film was everything it should be. The cinematography was, as expected, awesome, like how the two first films were. Applying the treatments and approaches used in traditional Japanese films really did wonders on what is supposed to be a difficult production. Personally, it appeals to me because it makes me feel like I'm really brought to this old Japanese era and where I become a first-hand witness to all the incidents that transpired in the movie.

I have to admit that there is a slight disappointment with the pace of the whole story though. Or maybe, it's just the fan in me that's speaking. The film had managed to ignite all sorts of interests in me and honestly, it kept me hanging that I wanted it to be longer. I wanted it to put more details like prolong the fight scenes between Kenshin and Soujiro; or explain some things like who the hell was that Buddhist priest Sanosuke fought (he's Anji, Sanosuke's master, by the way); and maybe they should have put more scenes for Yumi (Filipina pride kicked in, LOL).

Okay, maybe I'm just comparing it too much with the anime series.

But setting all my impossible demands aside, the film was indeed a major success. The casts were totally into their characters and I have to thank Director Keishi Ohtomo for bringing in these people together for this superb project. I am greatly inspired with how he directs his artists as I've watched in a documentary film about Rurouni Kenshin. In that short film, he revealed that he lets his artists embody the character they're portraying so that it comes out naturally. Coming from that, I think it's needless to say that Sato Takeru, Emi Takei, Munetaka Aoki, Tatsuya Fujiwara, Yu Aoi, and (especially) Ryunosuke Kamiki, and the rest of the actors were ALL amazing.

The whole staff were astounding too, I swear. Knowing how it works in the production industry, it is impossible to create such kind of outcome if the staffs were nothing; so let's give credits to the people behind the cameras, especially the production designers and make up artists. Gosh. I swear their choices inspired me a lot! 
Okay. Now, we're done with the technical reviews? Let's move on to something more subjective: my emotions.

I have watched everything, read all the subtitltles, witnessed all the fucking glory each scene had established. But at the end of the film, after Heartache played, I felt blank. Really, I felt like there was nothing, like I didn't watch anything. 

No, I don't think it was a bad thing. If it was, I wouldn't have had that urge to stay in the cinema despite being alone to watch it all over again. I guess, it's just a withdrawal from the truth that finally, I have finished something I've long waited for. I just couldn't believe it's all over that in the end, my mind probably refuses to accept that it already happened.

But as I walk away from the mall, I have concluded that it's not the end of the wait that disturbs me. It's the fact that Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends managed to touch that one sensitive nerve inside me, and I didn't see it coming.

First, some scenes stirred my emotions. 
  • When Kenshin FUCKING cried. I couldn't feel anything but O M F G
  • When Shishio revealed what he wanted to the minister, I felt the sadness in him. I felt his reason. Suddenly, it was all justified how he became so evil; 
  • When Kenshin protected Megumi from the police, I just felt so empty that I saw myself wishing to have someone protect me that way; 
  • When Soujiro was having a mental battle against himself while fighting, I realized that that very moment, he was me;
  • When Saito was so mad because Kenshin went wanted, I immediately learned the meaning of loyalty.
  • When Shishio carried Megumi, I felt the need for sacrifice, but the downside of it as well.
  • The salute scene... It was just so filled with hope.
But if there's anything that really caught me off guard, it's the scene between Kenshin and his master; and this particular line: "Your worth is as much as others."



I swear that's where everything must have stopped. When I heard Kenshin's master tell that to him, my heart went into a thumping feast. Remember when I said I feel like I was there during the whole movie? That very moment, I felt like it was being told TO ME. I'm not exaggerating. I'm going through some personal issues and I guess that made me feel like Soujiro during his fight with Kenshin. Right now, my mind's a mess. Like I was slapped by the truth.



No, there's no way I'm gonna get over this movie soon. I need to re-watch it, with someone or alone. I prefer to do it alone though. I need to take it all completely. I need to really absorb the message this film is trying to tell me, and maybe accept it as my brand new reality.

This weekend, please.




Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends AND WHATEVER THE FUCK IT HAS TURNED ME INTO

So my hands are currently full.

I'm working on the 2nd and 3rd chapter of the book. I need to be a good and hardworking daughter today because it's my mom's 64th birthday. And I need to atleast try to squeeze some three hours off my today's schedule to see Rurouni Kenshin with my brother.

But that doesn't mean I'm not going to pay attention to the highlight of my day: IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF THE NOVENA FOR ST. FRANCIS' FEAST DAY.

Last night was so hectic. Everyone was at the office, doing last minute preparations. The programme I designed arrived late so it made everyone feel panicky. Thank God, we managed to finish everything and I got to do teasers even, so it was all good.

When I woke up this morning, I really was feeling queasy, but in a good way. Maybe mixed with pressure, but still in a good way. I'm excited, even. I'm excited because after a long time, I'm gonna be able to hold a camera and take shots of the happenings around my favorite sanctuary.

To be honest, I'm kinda feeling nervous with this whole ordeal. The mass and novena was handled by Kuya Robby this morning so I'm hoping that the pictures will be uploaded soon, and then I'm gonna take charge with the poster making contest which will happen this afternoon. It's not something major for me to stay long, but I kinda need to be there still. Probably before going to the cinemas?

Another thing that quite makes me a little anxious is the fact that I might no longer know how to take proper pictures. Yes, I've worked as an amateur photographer for the book but I'm afraid that focusing on layout designs had robbed me my ability to actually see beauty in raw designs. Hopefully! And I hope Lu is still friendly with me!

Okay. So it has turned 8 and I need to get some things work done downstairs. I'm gonna clean the house and then move onto working for the book and then off to the church and then the cinemas.

Alright!

#PSFADuties: D-9