I feel like I’m caught in between. Things are happening
and as much as we want it to stop, it wouldn’t. Words spread like fire, based
on unjustified impressions, fueling irresponsible and disrespectful actions –
all for the sake of reputation and popularity.
I have gone to obscurity, as it’s the only way out. Eleven years and I have finally opened my eyes to see a kind of reality which I hoped
didn’t exist. Yet, it does. And there
is clearly nothing I could do about it, except to stand on my ground solidly –
and wish that living within this principle will earn me even just a piece of
the elusive righteousness we all ought to have.
I have made a choice, as did many others who understand,
who know. I have chosen to look at the side others refuse to pay attention to.
I have decided to see what others won’t look at.
If this decision will create walls between generations
and will jeopardize my position as a silent, feather-light sheep… then
so be it.
OF ALL THINGS CRUEL
Six months since changes began. I should have known well
that nothing is meant to be perfect, and change is a much dreaded reality for some
people. The fortification erected around the privileged was shaken, threatening
positions established and reputations built. And naturally, violent reactions
are in order.
And maybe, that’s what I wasn’t able to prepare myself
for.
Sharp words slash through our ears, and our eyes bleed in
seeing what we never expected. It wasn’t anything I should personally concern
myself about fully. But I guess, if you support what is right and due, you won’t
be able to just stand still and silently stare as things transpire.
Changes are inevitable, we always say. But it terribly
confuses me how those who have taught us such truth are the first ones to
refuse it. How is it fair to constantly compare two polar opposites? How is it
alright to just judge without looking at the two sides of the story? How is it
okay to demand to receive when people, themselves, seem to not have the
intention to give?
Clearly, age doesn’t define maturity. It is not really
words that justify characters, but the actions people exhibit when their
comfort zones are threatened.
And because of this, I have realized that for all this
time, I have put my faith in the wrong set of models.
THE CHOICE I MADE
With all that’s happening, I found my “emotional caretaker”
instincts kicking in. Inside me boils that strong desire to defend people who know
what they’re doing. Respect begets respect; and through proper ways I’m
introduced to, I’m determined to make that known.
The confidence in me stems not from my background. It is
rooted from the fact that there are a lot
of things I know which others don’t. There are a lot of information we conceal
because it’s not the right time yet – plans which people think I’m not supposed
to know, simply because I AM JUST A
CHILD.
But even without this knowledge, I am pretty certain I
wouldn’t give in to the current trend of hating. I am sure that I would still
end up supporting what I do now. Because I know how to give the benefit of the
doubt; because it is in my personality to give people time to prove themselves,
because it does take time to do so.
Once, I was told that changing something that has long
been there is impossible. But I say otherwise. Whatever we are today is just a
product of changes our forefathers had gone through before. They had gone
through changes that resulted to the norms of this generation. If that’s the
case, what’s impossible?
Changes are the only constant things in life; so those
who refuse to accept that may die now.
