I’m not gonna lie. I never thought I’ll go back to blogging again. In the age of vlogs, reels and TikTok, it was a bit farfetched to think that I’ll find myself reviving this account and writing my heart out.
But 2024 is ending and this year was all but comfortable, and for once, I wanted things to change for myself and I want to be better, so here I am, going back to what I’ve always took pride on - writing and photography.
I don’t know how to start at all. During the last few months, it felt like the universe is already conspiring with fate to convince me that I have to take things seriously now - like I’m already thirty five and I just can’t continue being the angsty teenager that I am. I’ve blamed a lot of people, gotten angry with a lot of things, prioritized my ego and pride for the longest time — and where did it get me? To nowhere. I’m lost. I’ve nothing going on in my life. I haven’t proven anything yet at this point of my life.
I don’t even have a dream.
So as 2024 ends and 2025 begins, I wanna go back to what I once was - free, content and positive. I can no longer see people hating me for reasons I don’t want to accept. And above all, I don’t want to hate myself anymore. I don’t want to live on self-pity any longer. I have to stop being this kind of person.
Will I be able to do it? I don’t know. But I want to keep myself in check. Otherwise, I’ll really grow old alone and lonely. And as much as I don’t want a family of my own, I don’t want that to happen.
I’m claiming all the positive things for next year at this point. God, take the wheel.
