I did not come from a rich family. My father lost his job even before I started high school and my mom had to struggle on her own to support a family of four. It's still vivid in my memory how my dad broke the news to us, in tears.
And more than a decade later, the tides have turned. It's no longer my mom who's the breadwinner of the family. The torch was passed onto me. My brother still couldn't get a job, although I am extremely grateful that my parents are both receiving their pension already.
It hasn't been a year since my grandmother died, which put us in great debt. The house became a collateral for a loan, and we still have two more years to struggle to pay for that. As I've said, I'm the only one working and it's definitely not easy for me.
Life was never easy on any of us in the family.
To be honest, this situation sent me off to a state of depression and frustration. I constantly look at others with envy, asking myself why I couldn't enjoy the life they do. Real life took its toll on me, especially because I had to work for the family even before I graduated. The painful thoughts kept on eating me alive when I see colleagues enjoying their lives because they have everything for themselves, and I couldn't.
In the end, I got myself convinced that while there are people who are extremely blessed and lucky. There are some people who will have no time to rest, fighting everyday battles of survival. Obviously, I have classified myself on the second category, that I even blamed God for neglecting me.
And it was the most stupid thing I ever did.
I hit rock bottom. I couldn't see anymore where my life's leading me. At one point, I wanted to just not exist. But I guess, God had plans for me. All I needed to do is to heed to His call and everything will be okay.
It has been a year since those thoughts occurred to me. And while I can't really say I'm past that phase already, I am proud to acknowledge that I'm getting by.
You know what the secret is?
Contentment.
When you get contented with what you have, you will realize that you have the bests. When you learn how to take pleasure on the things and experiences coming your way, you will understand what kind of life God wants you to live.
It took me long enough, but who said it would be easy? I'm even making you guys a favor by telling you this. But of course, you wouldn't believe unless you experience it yourselves. And don't fear. It's all going to be worth it.
In life, you couldn't get everything you want. Keyword: WANT. Because what you will get is what you NEED. Remember, luxury is different from necessity; and the problem lies on our tendency to confuse those two things. To be fully contented, we need to be able to classify everything according to these categories. Do you need it? Or do you just want it?
As I keep on implying, the journey towards understanding life is complex. But everything will be worth fighting for. And if you are having a hard time dealing with this kind of issue in your life, I hope this article of mine could be of help somehow.
Good luck with your battle.
