I'm Sorry, God.

It's that time of the week again. I had my confession but did a lot of bad things afterwards anyway that I feel so ashamed of myself. The peak of my Lenten Season had begun and as much as I'm looking forward to it, I couldn't because there's a super typhoon threatening the country, and you know how I am when it comes to natural disasters like this, but then that's another story.

So yeah, it's the Holy Week season. Last night, I was able to cover for the Holy Wednesday procession. As I'm now working, I really thought I wouldn't make it. Good thing Tina got my camera, I still got Celine's memory card, and I was there. Blessings.

Now, I'm wondering how it would be if I didn't make it last night. Things would have been very incomplete. I was so used to being terrifyingly busy during Holy Week for the past years that a sudden deviation like what could have happened might have been lethal to me. LOL, I'm exaggerating. But you see the picture? That's how serious missing out on church activities is to me.

However, I do not play perfect. Although some people kinda look up to us because we're devoting our time, effort, and talent on this kind of religious service, I just want to tell the world that we're not perfect. I have my fair share of mistakes, sins. I am not a good person. But I'm trying to be.

That's why I'm doing this. That's why I'm trying to be better at this. I don't want to play the piano anymore. I can't sing anymore. It's not like I can still dance too. Photography and layout designing are the only talents left in me so I want to maximize those God-given talents for His greater glory.

And right at this moment, I really wish I'm doing it for Him.

When I went to confession, the priest told me to do things for His glory. He told me that I should always set aside my personal agendas so my actions will be more real, more sincere. As I ponder on that advise now, I once again feel regretful. It hasn't been a week since I confessed but I'm already doing the opposite of what I was told to do.

I'm sorry, God. I'll try to be better.