I Hope...

I'm clinging onto that one last strand. I'm fervently wishing that I am given not a final reason to let go. I'm not ready, after all. Years had passed and I had repeatedly stated I've moved on but I've never been even a bit truthful - or at least, it was unconscious.

I'm trying. But apparently, there's nothing else now. It's no longer me. It's already him who's staying away, who's maintaining a huge distance between us. And I understand. I understand so well. It means I no longer need to exert effort. Because this time, it's his turn to do that.

Maybe he's just doing me a favor. Maybe, he's stopping me from falling in love with him all over again. And though it hurts more in actuality, I have to be grateful. I am actually grateful that at least, I wouldn't have any reason to stay anymore. I can quit wholeheartedly knowing that it's really dead end for me.

In the end, I lost. And whatever I'm holding on to for the past five years, I'm fully letting go.

Hopefully, this time's real.