"May nagbabantay sa`yong puting duwende."
The first time I heard this, I was in Grade 1. Mom told her friend (my then-teacher/librarian, RIP) that I've been taking care of a budding duhat plant in our garden. It was a typical conversation between two mothers about their kids until the fact that I am always transferring the plant to different spots yet it wouldn't die. Tita Glo then told my mom that that's because someone is guiding over me, protecting that plant that I learned to love so much - a white dwarf.
Mom told me about it. I remembered I got crept out. No one as coward as I am would want to be told that she has an unseen creature following her around, right? But Tita Glo assured us that the dwarf is nice, and that it's acting like a guardian angel to me so I need not to be afraid. That comforted me a bit perhaps, thinking that the thought was pushed behind my mind after then. Or maybe, I didn't just believe. I didn't hear about it anymore.
Until after almost two decades.
It was a few months ago when I met Kuya Abner, a DCY officer from Angat who's working at the Diocese of Malolos, who told me all of a sudden that there's a white dwarf guiding me. It's very, very easy to say how I was so astounded because I couldn't even remember then when I last heard that. Sad to say, our busy schedules interrupted us and our conversation had to wait until last Saturday.
After his talk on VCY Meycauayan's BIG DAY, I finally asked him about it. He told me that a white dwarf is nice, very generous even. It is guiding me through my endeavors and that is why whenever I want something so bad, I end up getting it - because the dwarf is helping me.
The only problem is my natural hostility towards a lot of things. The dwarf often tends to be the victim of my rugged attitude so Kuya Abner told me that I should be more wary about how I treat it. Although it had stuck with me since I was a child, I shouldn't still be taking it for granted.
Real talk. Lately, I've been pondering about how hostile I am. I don't like mingling with strangers. I don't like dealing with people. I want to lock my own world, allowing in only those people I like. But I guess I should now be more wary of what I do. Otherwise, I might be doing it to my dwarf again without knowing it.
This does lean towards favoritism, come to think of it. I might be tagged selfish going through this change in attitude just because I don't want my guide to leave. But then, there are things that start in the negative light. And then it grows to become something nice and good.
I might now want to meet my dwarf in person because of this pre-conceived notion about how they look like. But I want it to feel appreciated. I want it to know that I am thankful. And if I wasn't able to express it during my childhood days, I will now.
I hope I get to hear about my guardian angel too. :)
